so admist all this 'anxiety' i like to claim, i wonder if it is myth, all lie. i wonder. each day i wake up thinking about what am i doing with myself and the life that i honor to neglect at times. this career minded train of greyhound thoughts plays over and over. i dont know what i am to become of in the working field. i want that perfect job. that one with the "casual fridays" everyday. the co workers that indefinitely love what they are doing. the place to do everything i ever wanted to; and of course getting paid for it. i can't stop thinking about it as i've become victim to the late night online bug that has me searching jobs every second it becomes available. i've gone mad. it's hard when you're out of the institution. it really is.

life's been tricky with my papa gone. i dont go a day thinking about him. i miss him so much. i still numb in the summer sun.

i'm starting a new book. Life of Pi. it looks fresh. i've been in a diehard want, to read a new book.

fuck, i can't gather any thoughts. they trickle too fast these days. i think i'm getting old, or just mentally slow.

anyways, here's to the next hopeful entry.

peace.